In which I whine about the inevitable results of starting a series thats already over a hundred episodes in:
I am listening to the episodes faster than I am posting my liveblogs because I have a thing about posting too much on any one subject, so I queue the posts and try to alternate my posts with some of the great fanworks out here. This is along way of saying that I just listened to episode 69 and I miss Zolf. Grizzop is fine, but he isn’t Zolf. Everyone else is celebrating Zolf coming back in the current episodes and I’m just starting to really feel it. The first couple eps it was mostly practical concerns, them tidying up the paperwork, dealing with the loot and being me being mad that I can’t actually find a flaw in his logic.(1)
Now they are getting back to normal play and I feel so weird about it; like I am half a step away from screaming “you’re not my real healer”, slamming the door, playing loud music. There is nothing wrong with Grizzop, we get to keep Ben as a player, and on one level I am finding both of them delightful. On the other every time we hit that “Grizzop hasn’t actually had anytime or reason to bond with them” note or a silence where I would expect Zolf to say something leader-y, it hurts. You’d think the meta nature of the format would keep even my melodramatic butt from getting this worked up, especially since they put him on a bus, not killed him off, but I think that duality between what I think I should be feeling and what I feel is dragging things out. Especially because I like this fandom and am like actually scared of falling out of love with this show.
I better post this before I chicken out. This was supposed to be a quick note explaining why I might come across as angry at Bertie and Zolf even though they don’t deserve it (well Zolf doesn’t) and turned into some kind of processing /thing/
1)Zolf was having a mental health crisis for a while now, and when you become a danger to your own people, you thank Poseidon you didn’t succeed then you remove yourself from the situation. Bertie can’t leave at the same time (even if I think Zolf fired him at one point) because without Hamid around to keep an eye on him gods know what he’d do, to the quest or to anyone who got in his way. That Zolf got to leave on good terms with Sasha and Hamid was an unexpected grace. That I found out he was coming back before I got the episode where he left is some comfort.
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Date: 2019-08-03 02:35 pm (UTC)From:I am listening to the episodes faster than I am posting my liveblogs because I have a thing about posting too much on any one subject, so I queue the posts and try to alternate my posts with some of the great fanworks out here. This is along way of saying that I just listened to episode 69 and I miss Zolf. Grizzop is fine, but he isn’t Zolf. Everyone else is celebrating Zolf coming back in the current episodes and I’m just starting to really feel it. The first couple eps it was mostly practical concerns, them tidying up the paperwork, dealing with the loot and being me being mad that I can’t actually find a flaw in his logic.(1)
Now they are getting back to normal play and I feel so weird about it; like I am half a step away from screaming “you’re not my real healer”, slamming the door, playing loud music. There is nothing wrong with Grizzop, we get to keep Ben as a player, and on one level I am finding both of them delightful. On the other every time we hit that “Grizzop hasn’t actually had anytime or reason to bond with them” note or a silence where I would expect Zolf to say something leader-y, it hurts. You’d think the meta nature of the format would keep even my melodramatic butt from getting this worked up, especially since they put him on a bus, not killed him off, but I think that duality between what I think I should be feeling and what I feel is dragging things out. Especially because I like this fandom and am like actually scared of falling out of love with this show.
I better post this before I chicken out. This was supposed to be a quick note explaining why I might come across as angry at Bertie and Zolf even though they don’t deserve it (well Zolf doesn’t) and turned into some kind of processing /thing/
1)Zolf was having a mental health crisis for a while now, and when you become a danger to your own people, you thank Poseidon you didn’t succeed then you remove yourself from the situation. Bertie can’t leave at the same time (even if I think Zolf fired him at one point) because without Hamid around to keep an eye on him gods know what he’d do, to the quest or to anyone who got in his way. That Zolf got to leave on good terms with Sasha and Hamid was an unexpected grace. That I found out he was coming back before I got the episode where he left is some comfort.